Prioritizing Connection and Commitment

I read David Brooks’ latest book, The Second Mountain, after hearing him talk in Aspen. In it he argues that our society is suffering from a crisis of connection. I agree! Our current cultural values of individual achievement and self-preoccupation are hurting our well-being.

Brooks describes how our society valued conformity and commitment to others during and after World War II. Times of crisis require everyone to work together and sacrifice their needs for the good of society. It was important for people to defer to authority and do their duty in order to protect our country. But after the war this unquestioning loyalty and group conformity became oppressive, eventually leading to the counterculture movement of the 1960s. People began rejecting authority and fought for more personal freedom and individual expression.

Unfortunately, individualism has been taken to the extreme. Our intense focus on the self has led to a sense of isolation and alienation. Our society is facing a loneliness crisis. We don’t know our neighbors. We don’t trust our institutions. Extreme loneliness increases the chance of premature death by 14%. Feeling isolated from others can disrupt sleep, elevate blood pressure, increase the stress hormone cortisol in our bodies, lower our immune functioning, and increase depression.

A lack of connection also hurts our sense of meaning in life. One of the strongest sources of meaning comes from our relationships and serving others. A culture of hyper-individualism likely explains why the suicide rate has risen by 30% since 1999. One study found that countries where people reported the lowest sense of meaning had the highest suicide rates.

Brooks believes we need to shift our cultural values from first mountain goals of individual success and personal happiness to second mountain goals of relation, community, and commitment. Everyone’s well-being will improve if we move from self-centered to other-centered, from independence to interdependence. A focus on connection and commitment can help us all live more meaningful lives.