Being Positive Can Bring You Good Luck
Would you like to be lucky? It turns out that you can create your own luck. Research by Dr. Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor, shows that “lucky” people think and do things differently from “unlucky” people. And it just so happens that many of the things lucky people do are the same things that positive people do. Here are a few:
Focus on the positive
Lucky people view things in a positive light. When something bad happens, they think about how it could have been worse. If they are in a car accident they think how lucky it was that no one was badly hurt. An unlucky person would think about what bad luck it was to be in an accident.
Research shows that Olympic bronze medal winners tend to be happier than silver medal winners. That’s because the silver medal winners think about how they just missed getting the gold medal, whereas bronze medal winners consider how close they were to getting no medal at all.
By focusing on the upside, positive people maintain high expectations that good things will happen in their lives. This keeps them open to possibilities and increases the likelihood that their luck will continue.
Stay open
Staying open is key because luck comes from seeing opportunities. People who are positive are more open-minded; seeing things that people who are focused by negativity miss. This helps positive people to have more luck.
Dr. Wiseman did one study where he asked people to look through a newspaper and count the number of pictures. It took unlucky people about two minutes to finish the exercise. Lucky people finished in a matter of seconds because there was a message on the second page that said, “Stop counting: There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.” Unlucky people were too focused on the task to notice the message. Lucky people were open enough to notice what was there.
Vary your routine
Another suggestion for increasing your luck is to change your routines. By doing things differently, lucky people are more likely to discover new opportunities. They talk to different people, read unfamiliar magazines, try new restaurants, etc. Positive people are more likely to vary their routines because positive emotions make them feel safe, which increases their willingness to try something new.
So being lucky is yet another benefit of positivity!
Combine Compassion With Assertion
I enjoyed reading Rick Hanson’s book, Buddha’s Brain. In it he presents many thought provoking ideas, one of which is, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” He says that much of our suffering is caused by our reactions to events. We can think of an event as a “first dart” and our reaction to it as a “second dart”. While first darts are often unavoidable, we can reduce our suffering by trying to eliminate second darts.
So, for example, let’s say my kids leave their dirty dishes on the table AGAIN! That’s the first dart. The second dart is my reaction of frustration or anger. Second darts often set off more second darts, creating a vicious cycle. I might yell at the kids as they head off to school, which could trigger reactions from them or my husband and would certainly make me feel badly for having yelled.
According to Hanson, I could reduce my suffering by trying not to react to the dishes on the table. I could avoid second darts and bring tranquility to the situation by breathing deeply and observing my thoughts and feelings without reacting to them.
Really? OK, I do see how second darts cause me to suffer, making an unpleasant situation even more unpleasant. So I guess I should practice having compassion and trying to control my reactions. But if I don’t react to the dirty dishes the kids will just continue to do it, right?
Hanson says not if I combine compassion with assertion. He explains that we will only feel comfortable showing compassion if we are also assertive enough to know our own needs will be met. Being assertive requires that we effectively communicate our needs to others. Often we make the mistake of thinking that people know what it is we want. But it is our responsibility to communicate our needs in order for them to be met in a relationship.
So I should talk to my children to help them understand how much work it takes me to keep the house clean and how much it helps me if they do their part. Hopefully, by clearly communicating my needs they will be more thoughtful about clearing the dirty dishes from the table.
I’m afraid this one will be easier said than done, but I’m going to try it. What about you? Are you willing to give it a try?
Spend Time on What Matters
Are you looking for more positivity in your life? A good place to start is to have a clear sense of what is important to you and make sure your daily actions fit with your personal values. Good time management skills can help.
When we think of time management we typically think of trying to manage our time more efficiently so that we accomplish more by reducing wasted time. Making a to-do-list, prioritizing your tasks, and setting deadlines are all useful tips for managing your time efficiently.
But that’s not what will make a difference in your positivity. Effective time management, that is aligning your time use with your core personal values, is what really matters. You may be very efficient at managing your time, getting a lot done each day, but if what you are accomplishing isn’t what you really care about, you will likely not feel satisfied.
A good check to see if you are spending your time effectively is to look at your calendar. Does it reflect your values? If spending time on yourself to stay fit is important, make sure going to the gym is on your calendar. And if you want to be involved in volunteer work, is that on your calendar? What about nurturing your relationship with your partner? Do you have a date night scheduled?
I think one of the greatest advantages of having a clear idea about what really matters to you is that it makes it easier to say “no” without feeling guilty. As Tom Peters said, “what you decide not to do is probably more important than what you decide to do.” If your calendar is full of things that are keeping you busy, but aren’t aligned with what you truly believe is important, then you will end up feeling frustrated.
Are you devoting your time to what matters the most? Efficient time management is a great skill, but effective time management is essential for experiencing the positivity that comes from living the life you want to live!
Tips for Spotting Strengths
Using your strengths is a great way to boost your positivity. So do you know what your strengths are? There are on-line inventories that you can take to identify your strengths. But there are also clues that can help you spot your strengths on your own. Below are some signs that you are using one of your strengths.
Enjoyment: You typically enjoy doing what you are good at. It can be very satisfying to use one of your strengths to meet a challenge. Being so engaged in an activity that you don’t notice the passing of time is a good sign that you are applying a strength. What do you enjoy doing?
Ease: Another clue to your strengths is the ease with which you can do something. When you are good at something you tend to pick it up pretty quickly. Can you think of a time you tried to learn something new and it just seemed to come naturally? You figured it out with little effort? Rapid learning is a good sign that you were using one of your strengths.
Energy: Probably the biggest difference between using a strength and using a weakness is that using a strength energizes you while using a weakness drains your energy. You feel invigorated when you are applying a strength. As a result, you tend to put tasks that draw on a strength at the top of your to-do list and they are often the ones you finish first.
Excellence: A final tip for spotting a strength is something you do extremely well. When you really excel at something you can be pretty sure that you are using a strength. Repeated patterns of successful performance are one of the clearest signs of a strength.
Try using these clues to see if they help you identify a strength you weren’t aware of. And if you do discover a new strength, make sure you find ways to use it as often as you can.
The White House just released a new report entitled Women in America: Indicators of Social and Economic Well-Being. The first comprehensive federal report on women in almost 50 years shows that while women have gained in education and workforce participation, they still lag behind when it comes to income equality, earning 80 cents per dollar that men earn in comparable positions.
Out-dated work model
One reason women earn less than men is that many of them have opted out of workplaces that follow the traditional masculine work model. These cultures don’t give women the flexibility they need to earn incomes and thrive at work while also raising a family. Until more companies create a positive culture that supports women by offering flexible hours, the option to work from home, etc., women will continue to look for alternatives to climbing the corporate career ladder.
Women don’t ask
Another reason that women have lower income is because they are less likely than men to negotiate higher salaries. In their book, Women Don’t Ask, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever highlight numerous studies that show that women don’t ask for things they want nearly as often as men do. In one study almost nine times as many males as females asked for more money! The authors suggest that by neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job a woman can lose over half a million dollars in earnings by the end of her career.
So in order to for women to reduce the wage gap they first need to find positive workplaces that will provide them with the flexibility they need to achieve work-life fit. They also need to be more assertive in negotiating their salaries. Often it doesn’t even occur to women to ask for more money. Thus, an important step towards income equality is for women to recognize the need become more proactive in asking for pay raises.
The Benefits of Volunteering
Companies that provide opportunities for their employees to volunteer reap a number of benefits. Giving people the chance to serve the needs of others actually helps to satisfy their own needs to give back to society. Volunteering enhances employee well-being because their positivity increases when they help others.
In addition to lifting employees up, volunteering can also help them to develop new skills that can be transferred to their jobs. Volunteers build leadership capabilities, hone their communication skills, and learn to work with people from a wide range of backgrounds. Another benefit is that employees who volunteer together develop closer relationships. This is especially valuable when employees from different organizational levels or departments have the opportunity to work together. So it isn’t surprising that a recent study in Germany found that employees who volunteer not only are more satisfied, but they perform better at work.
Volunteering can be equally beneficial for college students. I graduated from Rhodes College in Memphis, Tennessee not too long ago. 😉 I was proud to see that Rhodes topped Newsweeks’ 2010 list of “Most service-minded schools”. Rhodes has always had a strong commitment to service. The Kinney Program, based on volunteerism, leadership and civic engagement, was established in the 1950’s and Rhodes has the oldest collegiate chapter of Habitat for Humanity in the country. The newer Bonner Scholars Program focuses on service-learning, social change and servant leadership. The positive emotions that Rhodes students experience through volunteering provide benefits that help them to excel in school. Volunteering also teaches them skills that will help them to be successful after they graduate.
The truth is that everyone can benefit from volunteering. Children, mothers who have taken a career break, retirees can all take advantage of the boost in positive emotions that volunteering provides, as well as the skills they will acquire. Do you feel like you are too busy to volunteer? Why not give it a try to see if the benefits make it worth your while?
Positive organizations create cultures of caring based on the belief that everyone who comes into contact with the company should be better off because of it. This includes employees. Companies demonstrate concern for their employees’ well-being by actively attending to their needs. Two key employee needs are autonomy and support.
Having autonomy is very important to employees. People have a strong need to control their lives and to participate in making decisions that affect them. In my own research I found that autonomy was related to higher levels of job satisfaction and commitment and fewer thoughts of quitting. In cultures of caring leaders understand that their job is to create conditions where people thrive, not to control their every move.
In addition to autonomy, people also need to feel that they have the support necessary to succeed. Clarifying expectations and giving people control over how they achieve their goals isn’t enough. Leaders need to clear the path, getting rid of barriers that stand in the way of goal achievement. Their role should be to empower others by serving their needs and making sure they have the resources required to get the job done.
In their book, Being the Boss, Linda Hill and Kent Lineback discuss the importance of “supportive autonomy”. Providing supportive autonomy means giving people the room they need to succeed on their own, but also remaining hands-on enough to provide support when it is needed. Leaders create a positive workplace when they view their role as coordinating, facilitating, and supporting the work of their people rather than controlling it.
Would your team members say that you provide them with supportive autonomy? Do they view you as someone who is available when they need help achieving their goals?
Focus People!
When is the last time you spent an hour focused on doing just one thing? I’m talking not a single interruption. Doesn’t happen often, does it? In her new book, The Art of Concentration, Harriet Griffey discusses the attention crisis that we are facing. We are so hyperstimulated by technological input, constantly checking emails, phone messages or twitter, that we are unable to focus or to relax.
This is a serious problem for our happiness! It turns out that both focusing and relaxing are important positivity boosters. Experiencing flow, when you are so immersed in an activity that time seems to stand still, is a great way to increase happiness. But the secret to finding flow is attention. You can only become fully engaged in something by directing your entire attention to the task at hand. You will never achieve flow if you are multitasking or are frequently interrupted.
Relaxing or calming your mind increases positivity by reducing anxiety and stress. But relaxing requires centering your attention on something without being bothered by distractions. You can bring your attention to your breath or your body, for example. In Buddha’s Brain Rick Hanson explains that being mindful means having good control over your attention. He argues that “developing greater control over your attention is perhaps the single most powerful way to reshape your brain” in order to have more happiness, love and wisdom.
So how can we increase our ability to focus? According to researchers from the University of Michigan we can restore attentional power by spending time in nature. That’s because being in nature uses involuntary attention, which doesn’t require conscious effort. Walking through a city, on the other hand, with buildings, people and cars uses voluntary attention, which is more effortful and thus depletes our attentional resources.
Here are a few more tips on increasing attentional power:
- Don’t multitask
- Check email at set times only
- Get enough sleep
- Practice mindfulness
- Meditate
Want to Succeed? Work on Being Happy
Most people believe that success will make them happy. They work long hours, sacrificing time with family and friends, because they are convinced that they will find happiness when they finally achieve success. But according to research in positive psychology it is the other way around. Being positive makes it more likely that you will be successful. Shawn Achor calls it the Happiness Advantage.
We know that positivity leads to success and not the other way around because studies have shown that people who are happy at one point in time experience success at a later date. In one study Ed Diener and his colleagues assessed the happiness level of college freshmen. They then waited until the students had been out of college for fifteen years and looked at their income levels. It turns out that the students who were the happiest as freshmen were the ones making the most money.
In another study researchers measured employees’ positive emotions and 18 months later looked at the their supervisor evaluations and pay increases. They found that the employees who reported being the happiest at the beginning of the study were the ones who later received higher evaluations and pay increases.
So if you want to be successful you first need to work on being happy. As crazy as it sounds, you might actually increase your chances of success by spending less time hunched over your keyboard. Connecting with people boosts your positivity, so take an hour out of your workday to have lunch with a colleague and stop working in time to get home to have dinner with your family. Take breaks from work to go for a walk outside, to help someone, to meditate, to visualize your desired future, or to watch a funny video. And make sure you find time to exercise and get enough sleep. After all, your success depends on it!
People want to have meaningful work, to feel like the work they do makes a difference. But they also want to work in a meaningful workplace. Meaningful workplaces are those that care about their employees and the broader community. Employees prefer to work for socially and environmentally responsible companies. They want their organizations to play a collaborative role in making both the community and the planet better. More and more companies understand this and are adopting a “triple bottom line” which considers their social, environmental, and economic performance.
Wal-Mart is an excellent example. It has a five-year campaign to green the supply chain by increasing fuel efficiency, reducing greenhouse gases and energy use, and cutting waste. And last week it announced it is taking on the healthfulness of Americans’ diets as well. Wal-Mart plans to reduce the salt, sugar, and saturated fats in its private-label products, and to encourage its suppliers to do the same. Because Wal-Mart is so big (it sells more groceries than any other company in the country) this decision could have an enormous impact on the affordability of healthy food and the health of Americans.
You might question whether Wal-Mart is taking these steps in order to improve its image and make more money. Perhaps it is. But in so doing it is also increasing the engagement of its employees by creating a meaningful workplace. People who work at Wal-Mart can feel proud that the company they work for is adopting initiatives that have the potential to greatly improve our planet and our society.
