Dare to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. – T.S. Eliot
Human beings are creatures of habit. Change makes us nervous, even fearful, because of the uncertainty that accompanies it. That’s why many of us get stuck in ruts, preferring to stay with what we know rather than venture outside of our comfort zone.
The problem is that success often comes from pushing yourself to try something new. When you look back on your life I bet you will notice that some of your greatest achievements came when you challenged yourself to do something you weren’t sure you could do.
Although it can be scary, stepping outside of your comfort zone is necessary for learning and achieving greater goals. It can also increase your happiness. By challenging yourself you are more likely to experience flow, which is linked to greater happiness. Flow is a state of intense engagement that occurs when you are working on a difficult task that is matched to your abilities. If you currently don’t experience flow it could be that you aren’t being challenged. This can lead to a loss of motivation and boredom. Taking on a new task might be just what you need to find a higher level of engagement.
I definitely stepped outside of my comfort zone when I started my business, when I started my blog, and even today when I dared to attend a yoga-to-the-core class! But doing them gave me great satisfaction and a wonderful sense of accomplishment.
What will you do to step outside of your comfort zone? Volunteer for a new project? Sign up for a class to learn something new? Accept a new position? Please add a comment to let us know what you decide to do.
Experiencing Meaning at Work
“The job of leadership today is not just to make money, it’s to make meaning.” – John Seely Brown
People seek meaning in their lives; they want to feel like they are making a difference, achieving significance, not just success. Ideally, work should give people a sense of purpose. So why is it that the majority of Americans question whether their work is worthwhile?
In his book, Meaningful Workplaces, Neal Chalofsky points out that in the past, when people lived in villages, it was easy for them to see the connection between the work they did and the value they provided to others. Because they knew the people to whom they sold vegetables or for whom they made shoes, they saw directly how those people benefited from their work. Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. The Industrial Revolution moved workers from their communities into factories and offices. Mass production and corporate structures have separated workers further and further from the beneficiaries of their work. The human connection with the people they impact has been lost.
It is now up to leaders to help their employees see the link between the work they do and the impact their work has. Leaders need to constantly communicate the company’s mission so that employees know how their organization is making a difference. They also need to make sure that employees see a clear connection between the daily tasks they perform and the company’s ability to achieve its goals.
Having a sense of meaning or purpose is one of the keys to happiness. Positive workplace cultures are created when people feel that the work they do in some way makes a valuable contribution. What are you doing to ensure that people experience meaning at work?
How to be Happy
Small positive actions can add up to make a big difference in the happiness you feel. Below is a video that covers a whole list of little things that you can do to increase your happiness. The video is in Spanish, so I have translated the happiness tips into English below. ¡Sé Feliz!
[youtube width=”340″ height=”275″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXSkmm74H9M&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]
- Show up.
- Follow your instincts.
- Be inspired.
- Don’t let yourself be a victim.
- Do what you are good at.
- Love your work.
- Look at things from a new perspective.
- Be curious about everything around you.
- Don’t isolate yourself.
- Spend time with those you love.
- Set goals.
- Finish what you started.
- Help others.
- Take a day off from watching the news.
- Dance.
- Spoil yourself a little.
- Confront your fears.
- Visit a museum.
- Making a decision is better than indecision.
- Exercise.
- Turn off the TV.
- Listen to music.
- Connect with nature.
- You can do it!
- Search for balance.
- Get enough sleep.
- Read.
- Buy fresh flowers.
- Just do it.
- Make realistic plans.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Live in the moment.
- Don’t be unfair to yourself.
- Accept that life has good moments and bad moments.
- Every night think about the good things that happened to you that day.
- Be open to new ideas.
- Believe in yourself.
- Be nice.
- Let people know you are special.
- Be honest with yourself.
- Don’t dwell on negative thoughts.
- Focus on creating what you want.
- Spend time just having fun.
- Thank the people who help you, support you, and encourage you. And invite them to have coffee.
- Don’t forget . . . money can’t buy happiness.
- Give what you no longer need to someone who needs it.
- Value who you are in this moment.
- Join a group.
- Find common ground.
- Take care of the person you love.
- Count your blessings.
- Love Mother Earth.
- Do the best you can.
- Don’t lose hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
- Never stop learning.
- Be grateful for what you have.
- Believe in something as great as you are.
- Stay close to your friends and family.
- Be honest with yourself.
Celebrate What’s Right
According to Dewitt Jones, a photographer for National Geographic, “celebrating what’s right with the world keeps us open to possibilities and gives us energy.” When he is on a shoot he first looks for the positive, then he focuses on enhancing that and getting rid of everything else. Here is a short video where he talks about how he stays open to seeing the positive.
As much as we hate to admit it, we all have limited cognitive capacity. If we use it to focus on the negative, on what is wrong, on problems, then there isn’t enough left to see what’s good! But our natural tendency is to focus on the negative. Attending to potential threats is what has kept our species alive all of these centuries.
Like Dewitt, positive people and positive organizations intentionally look for what is good and rejoice in it. Instead of focusing on the negative, they choose instead to celebrate what is right.
Why not set a goal for the new year to look for the positive in every situation? And when you see it celebrate it! Recognize employees for what they are doing right. Tell your friends and family what it is you appreciate about them. Give thanks for all of your blessings. Don’t just have fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Find reasons to celebrate all year long!
Just Do It!
Today is the one-year anniversary of my blog! I have enjoyed writing and am proud that I’m still going. I have to say I was very nervous about starting a blog. My biggest concerns were that I wouldn’t find the time to write and that I would run out of things to write about. But I was so excited about the power of positivity to improve people’s well-being and chances of success that I felt I had to share the news with others.
One of the things that I have learned from blogging is that sometimes you have to just do it! It took me several months from the time I decided to blog to actually start blogging. And even then I didn’t feel ready. You see, I’m a planner. I love to think about what I’m going to do, to set goals, to write to-do lists, to analyze everything. But sometimes this can keep me from acting. So I put off starting a blog because I was too busy planning for it, coming up with a list of topics I could write about and trying to decide what it should look like. Then I finally realized that I needed to stop planning and start doing.
This is something that I’d like to do more of in my life, so I have decided to focus on taking action. I’m going to try to push myself to go ahead and do things, rather than waiting until everything is perfectly planned. Now don’t get me wrong, I will continue to plan and set goals and write my to-do-lists. After all, focusing on the future does increase happiness! But I will be careful not to spend so much time and effort planning that I never start doing.
Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, suggests coming up with a one-word New Year’s resolution. That is, “identify one idea, often summarized in just one word, as an overarching theme for the entire year.” I’ve got mine: “Action”! What about you? Is there something you’d like to do more of next year? What word would you pick?
The holidays are a festive time of year when families come together and everyone is happy. Or not. The truth is that for many people the holidays can be a time of stress, even sadness. Below are four key strategies for boosting positivity that can help you avoid the holiday blues.
1) Relationships – The strength of your relationships is one of the keys to happiness. Spending time over the holidays with family members that you rarely see provides an excellent opportunity to nurture your relationships. Try really connecting with them by asking questions and listening carefully to their answers. You will learn more about them while also making them feel appreciated, both of which will strengthen your relationship.
2) Attitude – The holidays are a time to enjoy being together with family. So make an effort to minimize conflict by choosing to have a positive attitude. In the spirit of the holidays put petty differences aside. If there is a family member with whom you tend to have arguments, decide ahead of time not to get upset, not to let what they say get to you. You can’t change them, but you can change how you respond. You can break negative family dynamics by choosing not to engage.
3) Savoring – The holidays are a perfect time to savor the present moment, which is another happiness boosting strategy. Watch peoples’ faces as they open their gifts. Stop and listen to carolers as they sing. Smell the aroma of the delightful treats cooking in the oven. Lose yourself for a moment as you look at the decorations on the Christmas tree. Enjoy the tight hug of a loved one. Don’t miss a thing!
4) Gratitude – The holidays are also a time to be thankful for family, friends, fudge, eggnog, lights, music, faith, etc. So as you savor the moment, give thanks for it as well. Take time during the holidays to count your blessings. And go a step further to express your gratitude to others. Will you see a family member to whom you are grateful? What a perfect opportunity to let them know!
Don’t let the holidays get you down! You have the power to beat the holiday blues by being intentionally positive.
According to Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, “living in the future” is the secret to a long, healthy, and happy life. People who spend time thinking about the future are more optimistic, have a stronger sense of purpose, and are less bothered by daily hassles. Seeing the big picture makes small problems in the present seem less important and can help people feel more engaged in what they are doing because they see how it relates to broader goals.
Working toward meaningful life goals is one of the keys to happiness. It gives us not only a sense of purpose, but a feeling of control and something to look forward to. Dividing larger goals into smaller ones gives structure to our lives by helping us decide how to use our time. And as we accomplish the smaller goals we experience positive emotions like pride and joy.
This all sounds good, except for the fact that I have blogged a number of times about the importance of mindfulness or present moment awareness for increasing happiness. So you might be wondering what you should do: focus on the present or on the future? Living in the moment is important for boosting positivity; relationships are improved when you are truly present with others and being mindful helps you to appreciate and savor the moment. So yes, practice mindfulness, but not at the expense of thinking about where you are headed and setting goals for the future.
Imagine yourself in 5 years. What does your life look like? What have you achieved? Now think about what you need to do to make those dreams come true. Set long-term goals and break them into smaller steps that you can achieve on a shorter time frame.
As you go through your day try to be present and open to enjoy the moment, but every once in a while think about your future. Remind yourself of your goals and how what you are doing today is helping you to fulfill your purpose.
The need to be intentionally positive came to me very clearly the other day in my yoga class. It was the day before Thanksgiving, so our teacher asked us to focus our thoughts on gratitude. I thought about how grateful I was that I was healthy enough to practice yoga. And that’s when I realized my neck wasn’t hurting anymore!
Almost 2 years ago my neck started hurting. It felt like a pinched nerve. It was pretty bad for a couple of weeks and then it got better, but it didn’t go away. Any time I turned my head to the right I would feel the pain. It was worse if I looked up to the right, so I especially noticed it when I was doing yoga. I learned to live with it, but it was always there, bothering me. Until it wasn’t! But when did that happen? I don’t think my neck has hurt for months, but I didn’t notice until last week!
It is hard to stop thinking about what pains us, physically or otherwise. Yet when we aren’t in pain we take it for granted. We don’t appreciate, much less notice, the positive nearly as much as we notice the negative.
As a mother (and a psychologist) I know it is better to reward my children for their good behavior than to punish them for their bad behavior. But let’s be real. When do you notice your kids? When they are quietly doing their homework or when they are screaming and chasing each other around the house? And what about at work? Do you notice when your employees are working diligently or when they turn in a project late?
Our brains are wired to focus on the negative, but we can make a conscious effort to shift our attention to the positive. Keeping a gratitude journal helps us focus on the good things in life. Or we can set our calendars or cell phones to alert us during the day to take a moment to count our blessings. Anything to make it intentional.
What about you? Do you have any suggestions for how to be intentionally positive?
“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”
I’m sure many of you saw the news last week about the cruise ship Carnival Splendor. An engine fire left the ship dead in the water and without electricity off the coast of Mexico. Passengers were without basic services such as hot food, air conditioning and working toilets for several days. The ship was towed to San Diego and all passengers were given refunds, compensation for travel costs, and a free ticket for another cruise.
Most of the people who were interviewed after finally setting food on land talked about how miserable they had been. The heat, the smell, the Pop-Tart dinners, ugh! I saw images of the Navy lowering SPAM onto the ship, but the cruise line promises that none of the passengers were fed SPAM.
Speaking of SPAM, there were some passengers who reminded me of a song from Monty Python’s musical Spamalot, “Always look on the bright side of life”. Despite the less than perfect cruise, they focused on the positive. A man mentioned how fortunate it was that nobody was hurt in the fire. One woman was laughing saying she and her husband have the best honeymoon story ever! Another couple was high-fiving because they get a free cruise.
This is an excellent example of how happiness is a choice. The way you think about an event determines whether or not you see that event as positive or negative. My refrigerator broke last week and I had to throw out a lot of food. When I told my friend Mary about it she immediately said, “Boy were you lucky! It could have happened when you were out-of-town!” Now that is looking on the bright side! I was feeling sorry for myself and all of a sudden I felt so fortunate!
The next time something “bad” happens to you, stop for a second and try to reframe what happened so that you see it in a more positive light.
Positive Priming For a Competitive Edge
I just dropped my son off to take a high school entrance exam. In the car on the way there I told him to think of something that made him happy before he started the test. I got the idea from a study of positivity that showed that students did better on standardized tests when they self-generated a positive emotion before taking the test.
So is this relevant if you aren’t a student and don’t have to take tests anymore (thank goodness!)? Yes it is! One of the best things any of us can do to increase our odds of success is to prime positive emotions before doing a task. Positive emotions broaden our cognitive capacity making our minds more open so we are more likely to find creative and optimal solutions. Positive emotions also reduce stress and anxiety which means we are better able to focus and perform at our best.
How many of you crammed for exams right up until you heard the dreaded “please clear your desk”? Do you still do that now when you are under pressure to perform at work? Well it is time to stop! All you are doing is increasing your anxiety and hurting your chances of success. You would be much better off spending five minutes watching a funny video on YouTube or chatting with a colleague about the football game last night.
So before you go in to make that presentation or run your proposal by a potential client take a few minutes to do something that will prime positive emotions. Listen to one of your favorite songs on your ipod or think of a joyful memory. You can also help others succeed by making them feel positive when they are faced with an important task. Give them some encouraging words, point out their strengths, or remind them of a past success. Positive priming is a quick and easy way to give yourself, your team, even your kids a competitive edge.
